stop and smell the polution

novelty at each turn of a corner:
new people, new language, new nature, new climate, new food, new textures, new smells, new problems, new solutions…

I don’t have many early childhood recollections but I suspect this is what I felt like, stumbling out of the house for the first time, with my hand tightly latching on to my mom’s finger, ready to explore the world…

a lot has happened this past month, and just to name a few:

• I spent two nights in a stilt house in the middle of nowhere, just so that I could run a jungle race,
• I almost got stomped on by a water buffalo,
• I paid a H’mong boy to be my hiking guide going up Phan Si Păng Mountain (the tallest in Indochina – my ego compels me to mention)
• I am actually driving a scooter in the madness that is Saigon traffic,
• I unearthed a love for coconut jelly, that is slowly evolving into an obsession,
• I became a plant mom,
• I spent 20 minutes in Cambodia,
• and I’m singlehandedly racking up Google Translate’s cloud hosting bill.

currently I’m sat cross-legged on a violently blue sofa, peering at the smog through my apartment’s window, trying to spot the skyscrapers built around Sài Gòn River;
in theory, I know they’re supposed to be in my direct line of sight,
in reality, today is one of those dusty yellow sky days, much like yesterday, and the day before that.

a price you must be fine paying when living in Ho Chi Minh.

I’ve always proudly painted myself as a traveler, a person of culture and exposure, and yet, when given a cup and a bucket of water, I was confused as to how I’m supposed to use them to bathe myself,

I was even more confused by everyone’s roaring laughter when I bolted out of the bathroom, screaming bloody murder after having seen a giant walking-stick cruising on the walls (google this insect with caution)

a culture so far from my own, that has no qualms with 10x’ing the price of a t-shirt because I’m so clearly white and I must be waking up every morning to give that good ol’ money tree a strong shake; a fool and her money…

much like yourself, I focus on my strengths because I want to live in my glory, and as easy as it may be to sit here, full of self importance and judgment on society, what do I know?

my palms are too soft, clothes are too clean, nails too polished.

what privilege of me to think of it as a lapse in morals;
placed in their shoes, would I so confidently sit on my high horse? not so sure.

I work off my laptop in an air conditioned room,
I pay 15 cents for a fresh coconut,
and the biggest question permeating my brain this morning is whether I should go to the gym first and then to the pool, or vice versa.

you’ll only be able to see how something really is, when you have no expectations of how it should be; an impossible feat, of course, but I do think it’s important to at least try to think outside our lived experiences and allow ourselves to be moved by our surroundings without arrogance and cynicism.

they say we are more blind to what we have than to what we have not,
and I believe them.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 311 of the year, there are 54 days remaining of 2022.