September 2022

rise and grind

4 minutes of reading

“how are you going to monetize that?” I gave voice to the first thought that came to mind.

“oh, you’re one of those” she said under her breath, as if I had just outed myself to a homophobe.

this micro dialogue took place 4 years ago, at a meet and greet, somewhere in London.

I hadn’t been exposed to the anti-capitalist movement to understand the “those” I was now a part of, but I smiled my smile and carried on to my next 30 second conversation.

in all fairness,
the fact that this artist chose to never show (and subsequently sell) the paintings she spent hours out of her day on, was none of my business,
I was simply wondering how she pays her bills, ’tis all.

“I don’t have a dream job since I don’t dream of labor.” is part of the discourse I see coming out of Gen Z on TikTok.

“I simply want to live my life slowly and lay down in a bed of moss with my lover and enjoy the rest of my existence reading books, creating art, and loving myself and the people in my life.”

I understand not wanting to use work as basis for identity;
I understand not wanting to work in jobs where you are overworked, underpaid and underappreciated,
I even understand working strictly out of financial necessity, with zero interest in the labor itself.

with the “great resignation” and “quiet quitting” now dominating the news cycle, I wonder if this anti-work ethos and public airing of indignation will lead to actual systemic change,
or whether we’ll simply find a way to build a bigger and better mousetrap with every coming generation.

seeing how we’ve experienced two recessions back-to-back, I can’t really blame millennials and Gen Z’ers for wanting to unsubscribe from the girlboss subscription,

I do, however, want to sound the alarm regarding a sister trend, something a little more insidious.

a rising acrimony towards discipline and goal setting.

when you finally stop to question “hustle culture” and quitting the “rat race,” you’re typically so burned out that you develop an aversion towards using any will power, regardless to what end…
you may even look down on people who are disciplined and goal oriented.

because they’re now one of those.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend my days as the living dead,

I have read books laying on moss beds and can tell you it’s very uncomfortable, especially when you spend more time flicking ants than flipping pages.

I’m going to prove to you that you can live a soft life and still be disciplined, if that’s something you’re into, of course.

what does a life without goals realistically look like?
hours of screen time a day, body aches from lack of movement, social and intellectual disengagement…

when I wake up at stupid o’clock to go on my runs, I carry more than my body weight, I carry my hopes and dreams, fears and failures.
I carry my discipline.

when I budget my quarterly expenses I make sure to factor in trips to faraway lands and once in a lifetime experiences,

when I sit at my keyboard, I strive to do work I find meaningful,

and herein lies the problem,
using discipline to achieve goals that are not in line with your self is taking the fast train to an identity crisis.

I rarely do things that don’t directly aid my goals in these 5 areas:
health, relationships, career & mission, finances, contribution & meaning.

goals that are consistent with my own deep inner thoughts,
goals that build on my idea of success and bring me deep inner satisfaction.

my ever-growing bucket list ensures that I squeeze the most out of my time between adolescence and menopause,
anything else is gravy.

with very clearly defined yes’s and no’s, I can always listen to my own voice.

I can say with great ease that all of my time and attention are spoken for, so please do not ask for them.
(unless both our goals overlap)

I’m doing this not because I’m a “slave to capitalism,” not for internet points or other needs of social validation.

I’m doing this for me.

I hope you’re doing this, for you too.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 273 of the year, there are 92 days remaining of 2022.

rise and grind Read More »

33 short lessons learned in 33 years

1 minute of reading

yes, it’s my birthday today.
these are 33 short lessons I’ve learned in the 12053 days I’ve graced this earth.
(no, I will not elaborate.)

  1. wear sunscreen;
  2. moisturize everything, especially your eyes;
  3. walk, run, bike, climb… move your body, do it barefoot;
  4. eat raw and fresh;
  5. fast regularly;
  6. humor is free, so think funnily because…
  7. nobody is watching, we’re all busy with our own lives;
  8. care less, retirement is a 21st century concept;
  9. care more, live intently;
  10. do small things often, because…
  11. quantity and consistency is better than quality;
  12. choose wisely, pain of discipline or pain of regret;
  13. automate as much as possible;
  14. get 1% better every day;
  15. specialize in following your dreams, not a skill;
  16. dominate 3 skills 25% better than most people;
  17. read 20 pages a day, keep notes;
  18. your brain is for processing not storing information, use it wisely;
  19. go first;
  20. create a morning routine;
  21. polish your thoughts, strive for clarity;
  22. meditate, if only a minute a day;
  23. write;
  24. create, don’t just consume;
  25. emulate your mentors;
  26. if it takes 2 minutes, do it now;
  27. surround yourself with people that put you in check;
  28. surround yourself with cheerleaders;
  29. travel, ask questions, get curios;
  30. you’re living your biography, make sure you enjoy reading it;
  31. call your parents, they miss you;
  32. be fun, have fun, nobody likes a downer;
  33. do the least harm.

don’t listen to me, what do I know?

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 262 of the year, there are 103 days remaining of 2022

33 short lessons learned in 33 years Read More »

when you don’t like customers

2 minutes of reading

small businesses account for 99.9% of all US firms,
98% of them make no profit in the first years and 10% of them fail,
the average annual income for a small business with no employees is $44k.

it is HARD work having a small business,
I’ve been there, I should know, maybe you know it too.

now, it’s impossible to get any real numbers on this, so use your guesstimation…
out of the 80’ish million US users on TikTok, it is fair to say that a substantial amount are small business owners.

I often see them on my FYP advertising their businesses with behind the scenes footage, “life in the day of” videos, doing live Q&A streams and…

publicly shaming and complaining about their customers.

grumbling about your customers isn’t a particularly new phenomenon, (the customer isn’t, in fact, always right) but doing it so openly is.

I admire people’s entrepreneurial pursuits and their desire to take their financial freedom into their own hands…

however, (almost) no one can get rich unless they enrich others,
and they most certainly will not build a clientele by bullying the very people that show an interest in their products.

the bar to start a business is so low, that most people do it for themselves; consequently, they treat customers as an unnecessary inconvenience.

I’m sure you’ve had unfortunate experiences dealing with disgruntled workers sitting at the till, or on other end of an email exchange, that genuinely seem not to want your business.

the same system that allows us private ownership (capitalism) also allows the customer to take their hard earned coins elsewhere.

put your customers first and you’re already doing more than most.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 257 of the year, there are 108 days remaining of 2022.

when you don’t like customers Read More »

I’m doing this for me

2 minutes of reading

back when time stood still, and every problem felt permanent, aka in primary school, I really struggled with math.

having a mom that excelled at physics and biochemistry certainly added to the feeling of incompetence I had already dutifully developed.

and out of the hundred theorems she’d end up explaining throughout my scholastic career, only one would eventually permeate through my very thick skull:

“you’re doing this for yourself”

this was her answer for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. and it drove me insane,
particularly because I knew she was right.

and although I don’t get 5 when I put 2 and 2 together anymore, this one course I absolutely excel at to this day:

the “I’m doing this for me” course.

the running, the hiking, the writing, the reading, the working, the socializing – it is all for me.

and I don’t mean this in a “self-care, is not self-ish.” kind of way,
(although that’s a fair lesson to take in as well)

I mean this in a “everything you do is in service to your future self” kind of way.

“you are the result of the things you do regularly” kind of way.

“you are the fruit of the thoughts you plant” kind of way.

and yes, it includes the things you do out of empathy and genuine love for someone else.

“if it makes happy wife noises, then I’m happy” kind of way.

mind you, this is not a debate on whether psychological egoism is real, if everything we do is inherently selfish and whether true acts of altruism exist.

I’ll leave that debate to the philosophers.

tomorrow morning, when the bed is calling and you really don’t feel like waking up at 7AM to exercise, remember you’re not doing this for anyone else, but you,
and that nobody else but you can actually do it.

every act you take and thought you construct is an investment.
invest willingly.
invest wisely.
invest regularly.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 256 of the year, there are 109 days remaining of 2022.

I’m doing this for me Read More »

how to correctly implement the 2 minute rule

2 minutes of reading

David Allen popularized this rule in his best selling book Getting Things Done.

the 2 minute rule is one of the most straightforward productivity tips there is,
something you can start using right now, today,
it simply states:

“If an action will take less than two minutes, it should be done at the moment it’s defined.”

done.

examples:

  1. you’re glancing over your emails while working on something else (you know you shouldn’t, but… here you are) when you spot an email that requires a very easy and clear answer, something that would use 30 seconds and 2.5 breaths to respond. do it now.
  2. you’re on a call, waiting on hold, when you remember you forgot to tell your spouse you’ll be staying late at the office (again) do it now.
  3. you saw a post on Instagram about the benefits of taking deep breaths, do it now.

yes, it’s disruptive,
yes, it’s shallow work,
yes, these are lowish value activities;

however, if not addressed right away, they have the potential to cause substantial drag on your time and attention.

the reason why the 2 minute rule works so well is because it skips the decision making process and saves you the time you’d need to organize, review and finish the task later.

if you don’t close the loop right away,
that 30 second email has the potential to leave substantial attention residue in its wake, causing anxiety, dread and rumination,

do it now.

to implement the 2 minute rule correctly, make sure you’re applying it during your processing time.

this is a time specifically dedicated to planning, collecting information and processing it.

if used at the wrong time, the 2 minute rule can have the opposite effect and derail productivity.

meaning…

checking emails during a time of substantial cognitive load = bad.

answering emails during a time of substantial cognitive load = worse.

don’t do it now.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 252 of the year, there are 113 days remaining of 2022.

how to correctly implement the 2 minute rule Read More »

how do you find the time

2 minutes of reading

I’ve never disappointed more people than I have by answering this question:
“how do you find the time to do all of this?”

(and that’s with stiff competition mind you, I’m gay, my sole existence disappoints a lot of people, most of whom I don’t even know #irony)

the answer to how I have the time is… discipline.

I’m sorry I can’t romanticize or sugar coat it, I suppose as a marketer, I could probably try to, but even I’m not able to make discipline look sexy.

I have the Ciucaș X3 Race this weekend, the Vietnam Jungle (half) Marathon and Fansipan Mountain Hike coming up next month, the Phu Quoc (team) Ironman in November, and maybe the Cambodian Angwor Wat Half Marathon in December.

(I promise running is not my only personality trait, I just do a lot of running tourism)

the only way for me to support these extracurricular activities is through, say it with me, discipline.

running through rice fields and bamboo forests sure sounds incredible, but the path between me deciding I want to do the thing, and me actually waiting in front of that start line is hella long.

translation, transportation, accommodation,
back and forth emails, visa, registration,
more translation, more transportation, more accommodation,
scheduling, working and finally, physical training.

why put myself through all of this?
because it’s fun 🙂

for whatever reason we seem to believe that discipline and fun can’t coexist,
we believe that, for something to be fun, it must come easy, or natural. I disagree.

you could have so much fun doing things you haven’t even tried yet, out of a misplaced animosity towards discipline.

“I couldn’t do what you do.”
I couldn’t do what I do either, not haphazardly.

but I set aside time each day to build my life,
I’m seeking and running at the same time.
much like yourself, I have different interests pulling me in different directions,
and realistically I know that the only way for me to balance my own needs and my personal and professional responsibilities, is through discipline.

that is how I optimize my energy levels,
that is how I find make the time,
that is how I feel whole.

how do you find the time?

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 251 of the year, there are 114 days remaining of 2022

how do you find the time Read More »

Stuck in life, what should I do next?

2 minutes of reading

what’s the first thing you do when you sit down at your desk to, officially, work?

check your emails?
go trough your news feed?
watch cat videos on youtube just to feel something?

if you’re reading this, you’re probably a knowledge worker, or a knowledge juggler as I like to call us.
aka you spend your days at the computer looking busy.

I read this article watched this video on tiktok yesterday, of this person with appropriate credentials, saying that knowledge workers spend, on average, 3 out of 8 hours a day actually knowledging.

I was shocked.
3 hours? 3 hours?? out of 8?
that’s too much.

most knowledge jugglers I know, spend their days writing emails, attending meetings, and, if you’re a woman, coming up with creative ways to censor yourself without hurting feelings egos.

all jokes aside, I’ve come to realize that a big culprit for our lack of productivity, is an ubiquitous absence of goals.

by goals I don’t mean vague dreams like “I think I’d want to buy a house in the next 5 years” but proper goals, with tasks, deadlines and accountability, the kind that would really eat you up for not accomplishing,
do we even do goals like that anymore?
especially after reaching a certain level of comfort?

it is soooo easy to become infatuated with your own work, especially the shallow kind that is easily replicable, only to realize you’ve been trading old problems for new ones.

how could it not feel like a hamster wheel?

goals are an indicator of where you want to go, how can you go forward if you don’t know which way you’re facing?

I heard Tiago Forte say this once and it really hit a string:
“take the time to define your projects or projects will define you.”

this year I’ve taken this advice to heart and have dedicated a substantial amount of time to refining my goals,
as a result, this is the most creative, focused and productive I’ve ever been,
it’s probably also good for the planet.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 250 of the year, there are 115 days remaining of 2022.

Stuck in life, what should I do next? Read More »

on being a writer runner

2 minutes of reading

you know that pause in between asking someone a thoughtful question, and them processing it?

that moment when they’re deeply lost in thought, browsing their options, and you’re sat there eager to hear their answer?

there’s no pause here.

the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and carry on doing, is running.

coincidently, this is typically my only answer to any such questions.

“best thing I’ve ever done?”
running.
“most dangerous thing I’ve ever done?”
running.
“easiest way to make friends and influence people?”
running.

there are a couple reasons to do it,
and a million not to.

I run far past any reasonable utility.

directly, the only way running is ever going to help me in life, is if at some point, someone tries to rob me by chasing me for 10 kilometers at a moderate pace.

indirectly, it’s done more for me than any books, courses and jobs ever did.

the joy of cramps, blisters and sweat.
the pain of finishing.

but such things have little to do with words,
maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to it.

running for me is nostalgia,
nostalgia for a time in which “hard work” was rewarded and taking shortcuts was not an option.

influencers can’t fake it, the rich can’t buy it and haters can’t diminish it.

you either spend the time and work to get good at it, or you don’t.

just like writing,
maybe that’s why I’m so drawn to it.

I love running.
I hate running.
I love running.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 249 of the year, there are 116 days remaining of 2022.

on being a writer runner Read More »

how to price your products without going bankrupt

1 minute of reading

right now, are you wearing the cheapest possible t-shirt you could buy?

what about the device you’re reading this on, is it the cheapest?

that time you had to get a minor procedure done, did you look for the cheapest doctor?

why not?

as much as people love to complain about the cost of products, they rarely buy on price alone.

people want to feel like they got a good deal, that’s it.

if I sell you a brand new iPhone for $100, your first reaction is to think there’s something wrong with it,
if I sell it to you for $3000 you’ll want to know what’s so special about it.

intrinsically we know we get what we pay for.

next time you want to lower your prices ask yourself “am I giving them a deal or am I making them question the quality of the product”

a very good book on pricing is “How to Sell at Margins Higher than Your Competitors“

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 248 of the year, there are 117 days remaining of 2022.

how to price your products without going bankrupt Read More »

how to lose weight, a diet for humans

2 minutes of reading

if you were to gain 1kg just by eating fast food once,
would you still eat it?

what if you were to lose 1kg every time you went to the gym,
how often would you go?

I wrote about small choices, instant gratification and consistency before

if you bring these ingredients together and add the super secret sauce I’m about to share with you,
you’re looking at the perfect recipe to achieving anything.

full disclosure, I stole borrowed this recipe from Darren Hardy (he probably has it from his grandma) and it goes like this…

small smart choices + consistency + time = radical difference

sounds delicious, doesn’t it?

the super secret sauce, as you can probably tell, is thyme time,
I know it’s an acquired taste and not a lot of us know how to work with it,
but once you do – game changer.

I’m being facetious in my wording, clearly, for good reason,
us humans are horrible at putting time in perspective.

“nobody intends to become obese, go for bankruptcy or get a divorce but often, if not always, those consequences are the result of a series of small poor choices”

while great displays of Herculean effort make for a good story,
you’re better off reading a different cookbook.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

today is day 245 of the year, there are 120 days remaining of 2022.

how to lose weight, a diet for humans Read More »

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